2022 is here. but before we go into that, just a quick glance at what happened and what changed. after all, we have promised ourselves so much in the past and we really want to make sure that this year we’ll do it. But hang on; do what?
Have you already made your list of goals, plans, wishes, hopes?
2021 honoured us with some life changing events, uncertainty and in some cases fear of the unknown. Many times it felt like
every day you needed to use your survival mechanism to make it through the day and to be honest, it was a bit draining. Under these circumstances, it’s not easy to keep track of your goals and plans. It is actually quite easy to lose the sight and the vision you had. Still, some of us were able to do something marvellous. Some were able to change their plans and navigated their path through the changes that faced them. Some of us said to themselves; I can, I’m willing, I choose, instead of the old survival tool that says I can’t, I’m trying, I should, I need.
I look at our Sparks who haven’t stopped shining, inspiring, motivating and growing through this period of time and it doesn't make me feel too bad about myself. It actually makes me feel positive.
I mean, I did feel low for awhile and I did feel that I have failed, but I don’t cry and feel sorry for myself and I certainly don’t think that I am not good enough. Instead, I chose to learn. I chose to look around me and learn from the ones who I believe in and respect. I chose to observe and learn what I can do so I could be where I want to be, living like the woman I dream to be.
I learned a few tools that I plan to use this year and I thought I’d share them with you (sharing is very powerful to me)
I will choose to direct the conversations in my head by choosing the right words - I CAN, I WANT, I CHOOSE. I have noticed that when I use the words ‘I should’ or ‘I need to’, it puts me under a lot of pressure to perform. What it also does is, it detaches me from myself. It means that I have to do something because I have to and not because I want to and when it happens the dissonance is troubling me and making me uncomfortable and miserable. I get it that I need to clean the house, but if I want my house to be clean then I want to clean (I really don’t like cleaning by the way, do you?) but when I understand what my motives are and what I want to do because I want to, it changes the misery to joy (well, let’s not exaggerate, cleaning is not joy, but let’s say that it doesn’t pain me much)
So what I choose to do this year is to practice the CAN, WANT, CHOOSE verbs whenever I notice a different tonation running in my head- running me. I will use them whenever I need to, in order to lift my spirits up and get my motivation higher.
Change your attitude! Find the small things, let go and fake it until I make it. I have heard it so many times in the past, but I’ve realised that when I put it into practice, it actually works! I tried it on the little things. Well, let’s take for example Winter Wonderland. So, I booked tickets to Winter Wonderland with my children. If you can’t see the issue here then let me tell you that I am not a trendy FOMO person and I am definitely not a rollercoaster person. I mean the only ride I’m willing to go on is the merry-go-round and even then I count the rounds until it stops. So I get it that the obvious question is; Why did I book it? Well, the answer is very simple; my children asked to go and I was having this mother guilt trip about not doing enough fun things with my children, I said yes without thinking too much about it. Once I booked it I couldn’t stop moaning to my friends about going there. As I was moaning I also thought that I would have to put on a show for my children. I mean, I know how unpleasant it could be doing something with someone who’s caring a sour face, after all I have a teenage daughter… but anyway, on the day I put on 5 layers of clothing (it was really cold) and my best fake smile and said to myself- fake it until you make it. Let go of all your ‘I don’t’, ‘I won’t’ and ‘I dislike’ and set your mind free. I also said to myself as another booster; find the good things and enjoy the ride (well… not literally of course, after all I didn’t want my breakfast to be splashed all over Santa or the poor child who would have sat next to me on the ride…) but find the little things that make you shine.
So I did.
I loved the ride on the big wheel, I loved seeing my children having fun, I loved looking at the sunset playing hide-and-seek with the rides, I loved looking at the happy people around me, I loved dancing on the wonderland streets music, embarrassing my children. I really enjoyed the coffee stand where they spoiled me with some favourites and I loved throwing balls at some cans without stepping out with a giant teddy bear that I have no place to fit in. We had such a great time there that when my children asked to go back home, I felt a little disappointed. Not only that, I am considering going again next year (starting saving now…).
Winter Wonderland is also a wonderful example for letting go of what you think might happen, but don’t have the clue if it actually will. We all know that you have no control over anything. The only thing we control is our minds! So when you set up to do something, remember that you have no control over the outcome. I know you might want to go back to school and have a degree or work in a particular place or join the gym, but whatever you do might lead you to a completely different place than you have imagined.
You might even actually enjoy the experience more than the result. When we established WWC we had no idea what would come out of it. We knew we wanted to create a community of women for women who are seeking to grow and develop themselves without judgement but love and support. We had no idea that we would find so many amazing women who shared the same vision we had. We had no idea that we would record a podcast with over 3000 listeners. We had no idea that there would be so many women that we inspired and created for them a room for a change. That some women would start looking for a job or start moving in the right direction towards the life they dream to live. More so, we definitely had no idea how much we would grow as individuals. We were so focused on the community and other women that we have missed noticing our own personal growth. This year we have decided to let go of everything we think might happen, because we have no idea what our actions will bring. We know for a fact that when we do good in life, we receive good and this is all we are expecting to do this year.
We are going to learn a lot in 2022. It will guide us through new sets of goals, new lines of work and new beginnings.
Life is evolving. It doesn't have definite destinations.
Life is a journey and there’s no doubt that every one of us walks a different journey, but one thing I learned from this year is that when I walk my journey next to inspiring, amazing women then the journey is richer, fulfilling and greater. We will be using our lessons from 2021 and plan to walk in a new path in our lives, we hope you join us and wish you all to enjoy your journey next to us.