We have been learning so much over the past few months - about how to set goals and how to fulfil them. We realised that we have many dreams and they are in different shapes, sizes and levels of reach. We
are aware that some of them already exist (I want to lose weight, I want to have more money, I want my children to do well in school, I want to get a job etc), yet some of our dreams, well… are hidden in the backs of our minds with excuses (I am too old, I am too young, I don’t have time, I don’t have what it takes, I will definitely fail, no one will help me and the list is very long). Do you find yourself in any of these negative statements? If you do, then this piece is for you.
Nothing is simple, but it can be with the right mindset and a support group / people / friends to help you navigate through it all.
Remember that you need to be loyal to yourself and the dreams you really want to make real and remember that nothing is achieved overnight (except overnight oats which can be a real option for a delicious breakfast!)
Over the past few years, we recorded podcasts with women who have the experience, knowledge and proof of how to live like the woman they dream to be (Which is the name of our podcast by the way, so if you are a podcast person then add it to your listening list). We have been on a long road with the club and those wonderful women, and we came up with 3 simple steps to help get you closer to your dreams.
We are hoping that these steps will not only give you some ideas on how to move forward, but will also create a dialogue with the WWC Community on how we can all improve our way, support each other and live like the women we dream to live.
1 - Plan (big and small)
There are no surprises here… you need to make a plan. It is like making Easter dinner. This is a BIG thing, right? What do you need to do to prepare? Break it down into smaller tasks.
Find the right recipe (old or new), share experience with your friends, hear what they are making and decide what your plan will be.
Then, you check what you already have at home and make a list of what you need to buy. Next step is planning the budget, the time required to go shopping, figuring out who will be your guests and inviting them, and then asking everyone around you to help (maybe with watching the children, or asking someone else to make dessert so you don’t go over your budget). Eventually, everyone knows what they need to do (or so you think and hope).
Then comes the part where you decide when you go shopping, what’s missing and when to cut, steam and when to put the food in the oven. Let’s not forget setting the table, checking with your guests about Covid symptoms, thinking about what to wear (and if you have children, then deciding or arguing with them about what they should wear).
The other option by the way, obviously is that you somehow manage to be invited to your friends’ Easter table and skip a few steps along the way. But, if you are not lucky (like I am…) and don’t feel like going to all that trouble, you can cook with whatever you have already in the house, and the results will be similar or even better.
Bottom line, you will get an Easter dinner, right?
Life is the same. You can have big dreams and you can have small dreams. What matters is that YOU need to decide if you want to work for them or leave them as dreams.
If you want to make your dreams a reality you HAVE TO plan. You really have to think of all those little details along the way and turn them into small steps towards your dream. If you want to lose weight, you need to plan your meals and ask friends or family to hold you accountable. If you want to have your own company, you have to learn what it takes to create and build a business and then begin the process step by step.
For example, even when you buy a ready meal from Ocado, you still need to warm it up, put it in a nice dish and then clean the dishes afterwards - no escaping it).
Another example might be that you choose the shortcut of borrowing your friend’s dream idea. Sure you could do that but you need to remember that it is very particular to them and won’t fit into who you are or how you like to be.
On that same note; of course you can buy a ready meal and of course you can share your friends’ dream - if that works for you. If you feel contempt, fulfilment and happiness about the above, then girl, congratulations! You made it! You can begin to live like the woman you dream to be! If you don’t want to take the fast route, read on…
2 - Keep your eyes on the diamond!
We are who we are because of and thanks to, the interactions we had in the past with people around us. We were born to our parents and their abilities, siblings, bigger family and friends. All those interactions shaped our experience and plotted voices in our heads. Those voices are what we carry in every single thing we do in life - including achieving our dreams.
With every step we make in our journey to realising our dreams, we use our life experience. Those experiences shaped the stories we have about what we do. Some stories were told by others and I call them outside noises and some are the voices in your head that you carry for years and years. If for example, you wanted to go back to work and your partner told you that they won’t be able to support you with child care because they are too invested in their work or that they don’t think anyone would hire you as you don’t have enough experience, you may then embed the notion in your mindset that you don’t have the right support and you can’t do it. Another example could be that you tried to pass the bar exam and you failed so many times your boss told you that you better give up and you are not the type to be an accountant anyway.
Those outside negative comments and opinions can be handled by giving a very assertive, polite reply such as “I appreciate your opinion but I believe I can do it, I just need to find the right way.”
Or you can say something like “Your opinion and your experience are very valid to your life, but I choose to live my life differently”. Whichever method you decide to use to stop all non supporting voices, eventually will be your own inner voice to follow. With this assertive and positive voice, you will be able to correct any other Inner voices that might try to “protect you” from the alleged failure or hurt. What you can do is use the tools mentioned above and to acknowledge the voices, tell them that you will find another way to accomplish your dream and that the advice is appreciated, but not relevant at the moment.
We are like diamonds that find their shapes by the amount of sand it rubs in. The more sand the diamonds are rubbed into, the better its value is. Learn to admire how shiny you are but don’t listen to all the things others tell you. Diamonds are meant for admiration not for playing podcasts.
3 - It’s a birthday surprise!
Planning a birthday surprise doesn't guarantee you that it will be a surprise or a success! Let’s put it another way - don’t be surprised if you don’t get rich overnight. Equally, don’t be surprised when you finally DO get what you want, because hey, you worked hard enough for it. On the other hand, don't be surprised
if you wanted to be rich, but found yourself feeling so much more fulfilled and happier in volunteering in an orphanage in Africa (ok, so maybe you won’t go to that extreme change in life, but you get what I mean, no?)
Sometimes when we make plans for that birthday surprise party we invited everyone, we ordered the balloons, we bought the spirits and we made plans for the birthday person to get on time to the party, but nobody guarantee that this will be a surprise party for them (they may have been suspicious already) it may also that one of the services you booked for that party haven’t arrived and maybe only a quarter of who you envied confirmed and none of it make sense to you either! You put all that effort and nothing works according to plan, but wait! STOP! before you start being so hard on yourself and critical, you need to remember:
1 -who said that the road to your dreams has to be successful on the first go? Woman, you are going to fail. You are going to make a mess and you are going to burn a few pans while you are at it. Embrace the trails and learn from what went wrong. Practice makes progress, not perfection! Get a grip!
2- Now, stop and breathe. Be nice to yourself. This party turned out to be fun even though you weren’t able to surprise anyone. You also were so appreciated by the birthday person; they saw your hard work and actually along the way you have made some good connections with the pub owners who invited you to the party they are running next week! So DON’T strive for perfection, strive to be yo
u and see the good in every situation. Always ask yourself - what good came out of it? I bet you will always find at least one thing!
Now, let's take the last scenario and say, while making this party, you have discovered that you really enjoyed - setting and decorating the table; and the way you did it filled you with such joy that you thought to yourself “I’m so good I’d be good as an interior designer!” Now, that’s an idea! That is not expected! Right?
One of the things that I learned from everything I tried (and I have tried many things, believe me…) is to be flexible with what I want. I am very aware that whatever I learn on my way to achieving my dreams is so important that I allow myself
f this freedom of changing it and learning from the process. For me, these are the most precious moments and we shouldn’t neglect to appreciate them.
Now, how long would it take you to fulfil your dreams? Who knows? All I know is that I am learning about the people around me, I learn about myself in certain situations and I learn to accept other ways to get there and make many stops along that way. There are no expiry days on any of my dreams. THERE ARE NO LIMITS!
Finally, when thinking about your goals and achieving them, and yes, it can be
daunting to think of all the small details as well as the big details, f you are truly motivated and determined to reach your goals, you will find a way. If you are not motivated to take the necessary steps towards your dreams, then I suggest that you do some deep thinking about your dream. Check if the dream really is something you want or are you following someone else's? Maybe it’s just not relevant any more to who you are today. Be sure to check your inner-dialogue and find out what is stopping you from getting to where you want to go.
Most important thing is to start putting yourself on top of your to-do list! Because whatever you feel about your life and whatever you do in your life will be part of who you are and who you want to be.
If you want to join our journey and learn from women who have taught us a few life tricks, then listen to our podcast, read more of our blogs and join our FB group. These FREE spaces will allow you to connect to yourself and also to some really wonderful women in a nourishing community.