Updated: Mar 13
Many philosophers, psychologists and spiritualists from various backgrounds have claimed along the years that whomever is around us is a mere reflection of the way we perceive ourselves; who we wish to be or who we wish not to be, who we think we are and who we don’t think we are. They added that whatever feeling we have towards the personas around us is the way we feel about ourselves.
So, initially when you observe the people who surround you, you take a piece of them that you recognise in you. That sounds creep, I know but have a think; look at your best friends, people you don’t like and try to think what you think about them and now hand on your heart; do the people you like and love have the same qualities you have?
And what about the ones who get on your nerves?
Might you have something in common?
A piece that you also have and trying to hide? control? Alternatively, what do they have that presses your hidden button in your personality? Hmm… any thoughts? I will leave you to it…
When you connect with someone who you wish had been you; you’d be covered with a range of emotions; you might feel hostile and envious or you might feel a complete and utter admiration towards that person. You might feel that they agitate you or they make you contemplate about your life.
Most of the time; whatever emotion you possess towards that person is your own reflection of the emotions you hold towards yourself.
Have you ever looked at that woman who is sitting next to you on the train and admired her without sneaking in any negative, disparaging thought about her? Something like “She is so successful, I bet she has good connections” or “She’s probably just a temp admin, that’s why she is at that desk and not in a room”.
Have you ever truly from your heart complimented a woman without feeling that you’re lowering yourself or alternatively feeling condescended towards her?
Have you ever felt a pure sense of obligation to support her without any predisposition that woman who is sitting next to you, In Front of you on the tele, on the train, in the coffee shop at the party….?!
Don't be to harsh on yourself yet... Mary Ann Sieghart in her article 'Why are even women biased against women?' talks about the social, psychological, aspects that dominate our thoughts and inner dialogue about ourselves and other women, But now that are aware of this inner dialogue in your head that degrade yourself or another woman, you can stop it and change it!
A fundamental motto that I carry in life and is relevant to that notion of constructing a new fragment of being is that "Lightening someone else’s candle, doesn’t make yours any less bright" so when you see another woman, offer her your light. You will definitely glow brighter.
Simply, put your ego aside, leave the who you would have liked to be, what you would have liked to do or anything that include “me” or “I” or as Freud called them; id, ego and superego (which are the mental form of the set of the uncoordinated instinctual desires and the critical and moralizing of a human and that we are attempted to be connected and pleased by the self) and simply stay with the understanding that this person (who looks so pretty and even though she might have a rich husband or worked on her face or born this way) this person is pretty and you smile at her and acknowledge her beauty in the world without it being inflicted on you. You stay who you are regardless of her beauty or success. Give her the credit and change your biased thought in believing that she did it, she can do and she can do whatever she wants.
The minute you clean your thought and stay with the feeling of admiration, positiveness, inspiration and hope ; the beauty will be inflicted on you and you would feel beautiful yourself (even though you have never done anything, you definitely become prettier, successful and incredibly talented then before). You can read more about these techniques and how to live a more powerful life, in our blog; Overcoming your fears)
At the end of the day, we should be more aware of ourselves when we think of ourselves; how we treat ourselves and more so how we treat our fellow women around us. We are humans before we are anything else and we most certainly don’t have to put the glass ceiling on top of our heads.